I Don't Ever Want To Do This Again

Driving into work this morning, I was reflecting on this day one year ago and the activities and emotions of the day.  As I walked in the door of the office I was in tears.  When I arrived at my desk, I checked my phone and had a message from TimeHop.  When I checked it, there was no activity for one year ago today.  It was because it was the worst day of my 55 years on this planet and an extremely difficult one for our family.  I haven’t shared a single word about it on Facebook trying to protect the privacy of our wonderful daughter, Laura.  But, she decided to share publicly today so I feel I can, too.

It was around midnight Easter night.  I was up late not willing to let go of the day.  I wasn’t ready to start the work week.  At that time, I usually left my cell phone downstairs plugged in and charging.  It was still on the arm of the couch and rang right before I was going to go upstairs for the night.  It was Laura calling.  I answered, “Hello, Pumpkin” so happy to hear from her.  I am ALWAYS glad to hear from my children.  The voice on the other end said, “This is not your Pumpkin”.  I was puzzled.  It was her friend, Jill, who I knew from Pinterest.  She said that Laura showed up at their apartment acting really loopy like she had taken too much medication.  Laura had been taking drugs for pain and what she thought was a really bad sinus congestion.  I didn’t know she had been fighting this until a couple hours earlier when she told me.  I told her she should go to the store and get some chicken noodle soup.  She drove to Wal-Mart and returned home.  It was after that that she ended up at Jill’s apartment.  I asked Jill a few questions and started asking her questions about Laura trying to figure out if she was having a stroke.  I had her put Laura on the phone and I couldn’t get Laura to say a single word to me so I had Jill call 911 because I feared a stroke.  I don’t know why.  I just did.  I ran upstairs and woke Randy up telling him that something was terribly wrong with Laura.  It was terrifying.

It seemed like an eternity for the ambulance to get there.  She only lived 10 minutes from the hospital.  Jill rode in the ambulance and kept assuring me that Laura would be alright and she would be with her.  Later, a doctor from the hospital called my phone and my husband answered.  He told Randy that she had a clot in her brain and there was bleeding.  They were in touch with a neurosurgeon at UAB to decide what they should do next.  I was so impressed and grateful that the doctor chose to confer with another doctor and not try to do it alone.  We knew that the treatment could cause further bleeding in her brain and she may have to go to Birmingham for brain surgery.   The doctor told Randy that we needed to get down there.  I already had a plane ticket and when the doctor said that, I tried to get a ticket for Randy, but the plane was full.  He had to wait 4 hours later to catch a plane.  I called my Judson College roommate in Birmingham at 2:00 AM asking if she could drive me from Birmingham to Dothan because I didn’t feel I could drive.  I was too nervous and shaky.  There was not the slightest hesitation from Julie to say “Yes”.  What a God send.  Then we received a call from a different doctor and I answered.  They had more scans and the current plan was to keep her in Dothan.  I begged and begged him to let her friends stay in the room with her.  I couldn’t stand the thought of her being alone.  We don’t have family there.  He said he would do his best.  As far as I know, someone was there the entire time until I could arrive at 2:00 PM.  

It takes a long time to get from Kansas City to Dothan on a good day.  That trip was absolutely grueling.  The line for security at the airport was horrific at 5:00 in the morning.  I was so afraid I was going to miss the plane and I COULD NOT MISS THAT PLANE.  My entire time traveling, I could not believe what was happening.  She had become engaged to Austin on Good Friday and we were so excited and happy for them.  Now two days later, she was in the hospital with a very serious condition.  I didn’t know if she would be alive when I arrived.  If she lived, I didn’t know if she would be able to function.  Laura was in medical school to become a doctor and newly engaged and it was all seeming to go down the drain.  I felt she was cheated.  She had worked so hard for so long to get where she was.  It was not fair and it just didn’t feel real.

During down time waiting for flights, I texted one close friend and one of my cousins letting them know what was going on.  My friend wanted to know if she could share with the Monday night group and I said “yes, but I don’t want anything on Facebook”  because Alex started his finals that day.  I didn’t want to upset him.  I also didn’t want to upset Laura’s friends still at Judson because they were approaching finals.  We didn’t tell Alex until Thursday after his last final.

Julie met me at the airport in Birmingham.  I was impressed with her thinking and planning.  She brought us a snack.  She bought me lunch at McDonald’s.  We drove through.  No time to stop.  And she packed an overnight bag for herself because she didn’t know if she would need to stay or not.  That meant so much to me.  I didn’t ask for that.  She just did it. 

I called the hospital on the way from Birmingham to check on Laura.  The nurse asked me if anyone told me what to expect.  She said that it is unnerving for parents to see their child that way.  I was scared.

Finally, at 2:00, we arrived at the hospital and made the long walk to the ICU waiting room.  When I told the lady at the desk that I was there to see my daughter, she told me the next time for visiting hours.  I just about lost it.  Luckily, Julie was there and helped with the situation.  That poor lady.  She was just doing her job.  On a side note, we did talk with the lady a bit later and had a very nice conversation with her.  I’m sure she’s dealt with a lot while working the desk in the ICU waiting room.

A nurse came out to get me and I asked that Julie go in with me.  I stopped the nurse on the way and asked her what I was supposed to do.  I was so afraid of saying the wrong thing and upsetting Laura.  Who would think a mother would not know what to say to her own child?  It still bothers me.  I walked into her room and all she would say was “My head hurts”.  Her pain was a 10 out of 10.  I was powerless to help her.  Her doctor stopped by and asked if I wanted to see the scans.  She took me to a desk and showed me the scans and then revealed that it wasn’t “a” blood clot, but 3 blood clots.  Thank God they didn’t tell us that on the phone.  She also showed me on the MRI where the stroke was.  She said they could tell she had been stroking for over 48 hours because it doesn’t show on an MRI until at least 48 hours.  Our poor baby!  The doctor was a beautiful, young female who explained everything to me.  Julie stood there and listened. She told me afterward that she was very impressed.  She said the doctor showed empathy and they were doing exactly what needed to be done.  That brought me much comfort.

When visiting hours were over, Julie and I had dinner in the cafeteria and Julie headed home.  She offered to stay, but Randy would be there soon.  I returned to the waiting room to wait and a lady came up to me and asked me if I was Dawn.  My friend in Kansas had contacted her and she was there to be with me.  She talked with me and prayed with me.  She was truly an angel to us over the next couple of weeks, a very precious lady.

I will include Laura’s blog link where she gives details from her point of view and her talk of healing.  I will say that I could feel God move in our lives.  I could feel the prayers in Kansas and Alabama.  I met amazing people.  They were Laura’s friends in Dothan.  Their support and caring was so much appreciated.  I saw amazing doctoring and nursing.  I saw some not so good. 

The road to recovery is finally getting much better, but it is not over.  In the middle of all of it, Laura caught up with her medical school work and started with her class for their 2^nd year.  She also planned a wedding, which was December 28 in Dothan.  Austin stood by her through it all.  For that, we are grateful.  I always admired Laura’s focus and perseverance.  This event has truly tested her.  I can say without any doubt that she is the strongest person I’ve ever known.  I can also say I feel blessed to have my family and now one more son in that family.  We do well together. 

Laura’s blog entry - https://lanninglife.wordpress.com/2015/04/22/one-year-ago-today/